MISA terms dictionary

This is a translation of a post on one of the Romanian forums exmisa. I think it's useful for those who wish to go to a yoga course organized by Misa, and to amuse those who did. And also to open the eyes of those who still are students. It's also a tribute to the Misa custom to put glossaries at the end of each book they publish, so that no one misunderstands what they are talking about.

Detachment-let him/her rot, it's his/her nasty karma
Shakti-an elevated being of feminine gender, vital, with tits to the waist, who masturbates with the help of a vibrator in front of a web camera, or does striptease to elevate the spiritual level of humanity.
Vira-know-it-all that uses the wooden language. Sometimes can be seen around a shakti, helping her in the planetary sublimation.
Karma-yogi – idiot who does not know his own value and lets other exploit him because of this.
Karma-yoghini – a sort of Shakti, but stupider, because she donates all she makes.
Enlightened person-old, horny guy, full of hate, smug, cheap, obsessed, forgetful, distracted, who knows how to attribute to himself informations he gathers and copies word by word from different sources. Spiritual being who gives out photos of himself to people so that they worship him and tell them to light 7 candles for him like for a dead man.
Urine-Misa beverage.
24 hour prayer-a moment to meat with God for a little gossip.
Consecration-or how to get rid of the responsibility for your actions.
Transfiguration-replacement for alcohol. Makes an ugly guy/girl in a beauty.
Samadhi-a legend from books, but something that no one from the Misa courses never experienced.
Meditation-the Misa version of the traditional siesta. Requires a musical background. In the superior forms the body is not immobile, but moves continuously.
Asanas-an inferior form of evolution at Misa. In the big years they use Tantra.
Laya-form of auto-suggestion consisting of the repeating of ultra-secret mantras that are available for free on the Internet, accompanied by a sound in the head. In the superior stages it leads to meditation. (for the definition of meditation see above)
Initiation-form of manipulation in which you take your wife/girlfriend to an enlightened (see definition above) old man for sex.
Initiated woman-a stupid woman who believed the lines of an enlightened man.
Initiated man-an idiot who took his wife/girlfriend to be fucked and had intercourse with before he washed.
Colored subtle currents-colors used in chrome therapy, which is taught wrong at Misa.
Sweden-country of refuge for enlightened people.
Instructors-people who cash in the fee, put on the tapes at the courses and keep presence. Some transformed in Shakti or Vira (for definitions of these see above).
Yoga student-the one who pays the fee.
Yoga student with spiritual aspirations-future Vira and initiated men. (see definition above)
Mantras-secret words, that exist for free on the Internet, used in the Laya yoga technique, and the pronunciation of which is a mystery to the Misa students and instructors and the enlightened man himself.
Kashmir shivaism-compilation of informations by means of copy-paste made by Nicu (Nicolae Catrina former president of Misa) from various sources which he defined as poorly educated. Compilation out of which all of the elements that are not in accordance with the Misa leaders and direction were taken out.
Blessing-mysterious technique through which we can get rid of the need to help someone in need whith money.
Jnana yoga-a form of yoga in which the evolution is based on awareness. It is a form of yoga unrecommended at Misa, considered to be without use.
God-all-powerful, all-knowing, all-compassing being, to which the yogis report when they forget or loose the photo of the master.

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