A perfectly natural cure for chemtrails

We've seen that the guys and shaktis over at our favorite cult are big fans of the latest in the line of stupid conspiracy theories, and their all knowing and unerring master is more than willing to offer them up even more stupid "solutions" and "cures" for such problems.
We've seen the same thing happen in the case of the swine flu and later the avian flue and the ultra secret and ultra simplistic and ultra unproven cures that all those entailed (btw the magic cure for swine flue was taking sublingually aka the patented (not really, even though they claim it's their own unique revelation) MISA method of taking [sic] plants aka putting grounded medicinal plants and herbs instead of going to the doctor and finding out what they actually have and taking actually proven medicine to get better, of a certain plant called star anise). That was such a huge revelation that it required those wishing to know it to make an oath with their hands on a bible and swearing to their health (oh sweet irony, thou ineffable manifestation of god that no one in the cult, not even the most advanced students or their master have managed to even remotely grasp) and spiritual evolution to not divulge to those who did not take the same oath.

So to counter that here's a perfectly natural and healthy method of counteracting those evil and Freemasonic chemtrails that are so well designed that even though they poison the entire atmosphere of the planet we all live on, (Freemasons and non-Freemasons alike) and yet they still only work on those who are not so evil aka the cute babies, puppies, big eyed cats and the most spiritual people that have ever existed: the tuition paying sympathizers of the non-profit organization named MISA or one of the other local smaller yogic ashrams that have nothing to do with MISA except adoring it's leader and being presented as the representatives of said organization on the organization's chosen method of communication with outsiders a website called yogaesoteric.net.

The cure is simple:

Phase one 
Take a squirt bottle like the one you use for spraying your bio and genetically not modified plants you use instead of medicine or the ones you grow as aphrodisiacs according to the unique and super-secret revelations of the greatest spiritual guide evar.

Phase two
Fill said bottle with vinegar. But be careful to use good vinegar. You can do a few or 7, or 21 or 49 or 7^7 blessings for it. You can also use a less potent 1:2 or weaker dilutions of this miracle cure-all.

Phase three
When you notice those evil chemtrails on the sky take the bottle in your right hand and go outside and after the mandatory consecration of this spiritual action hold the bottle up and start spraying vinegar at the sky.
In about 30 minutes or so, (about the same amount of time that it would take for those evil chemtrails to disappear without any action on your part) you will notice that they start dissapearing like magic.

But it is not magic. It is the perfect result of the perfect revelation that you've just had the priviledge of taking part in and about which you may not speak to anyone besides the other people who recieved this super secret initiation. Aka the people who were chosen by our unerring master to be worthy of receiving this information. You may know these people by asking them the appropriate password that is nothing like any dubious Freemason practice that we collectively must despise even though we only have our dear deluded and paranoid master's word to take it on.

Phase four
Look at the time you've spent on performing the above described action and multiply it by at least two and then sit down and do a meditation of gratitude towards our true god spiritual leader who is only a yoga teacher, just like your aerobics teacher, if you also have 49 day long tapases and do about 24 hours of continuous meditations and activities in honor of his/her birthday as well.

Optionally you can perform a short, but be sure to make it short, prayer of thanks to god the father, the only god that exists, except that he exist simultaneously in the form of all the possible Christian interpretations of the bible as well as all the legends of the Jews and what you like from Islam and last but not least the entire Hindu pantheon.

The collective WE of our spiritual masters multiple personalities, many of whom are insufferable grandiloquent assholes, wish you a perfect and spiritually supersonic practice.

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